TEARS OF EVE

 

NONYE

Nonye had been stuck in this nightmare for hours now. Every scrap of perseverance left in her seemed to have taken flight, leaving her at fate’s mercy. Heaven knew she couldn’t keep up anymore with the pace of pain surrounding her.

The pain engulfing her body heightened with each passing second. This must be hell, she gaped. For what better description could she tag the pain she was feeling?

Not that she found her way to hell before. But drifting along the biblical and hearsay analogy she had garnered, it was a fiery furnace filled with harsh teeth gnashing—a picture of her present delivery experience! She squinted as she lowered her head on the bed.

“Ah!” she moaned. It felt like demons were set at work within her, trying to rip out her insides. She imagined a hot butter knife filed in between her stomach to scrape out its content. It felt like a trillion needles continued to prick her constantly.

“You can do this!” the Scottish midwife-nurse said with much enthusiasm. “Just a few more pushes and your baby will be here,” she reassured her with a harmless smile curling up in the corner of her lips.

Bams, her husband rubbed her hand lovingly. “Yes, babe… You can do this. Our champ will soon be here.” 

Nonye’s spewed venom at the sound of Bams’ consolation. “Is this man alright?” she flipped out. What champ was he talking about? Did he mean the devil’s incarnate ripping her insides out right that moment? Bams could be such a dim-wit at times, and right this moment in the room, Nonye thought he was the biggest the world could have.

"Baby, you can do this, you are a strong woman," he innocently carried on as he patted her hand.

Nonye had a hard time understanding the sheer nonsense Bams was spilling out of his mouth. What did he mean by she could do it? She couldn't do anything.

"Ñgå àmã gi ãkå ñti!” Her smooth igbo accent permeated the room before she echoed in English, “I will slap this man oh. Let him just say any more gibberish about being strong again, I will summon the gods of our fathers heavily on him.” 

 “Sorry, Madam,” the nurse tried to calm Nonye’s nerves.

 Nonye gritted her teeth. All she wanted was for the agonizing to stop, right here, right now. She sniffed, tears pricking her eyes. It felt like she was trying to push a watermelon from a hole the size of a lemon or better still, the proverbial camel through the needle's eyes. An impossibility in her opinion. Yet, there she was on the hospital bed trying to push through the pain. Beads of sweat broke out on her forehead, and Bams wiped it with a handkerchief he had been holding. She would have thought of his action as loving in any other situation but now, it just annoyed her. 

A contraction gripped her and she screamed. It took her back in time to her secondary school days. She had always thought the pains inflicted by her physics teacher's horsewhip on her back was the worst pain she had ever experienced. However, right this moment, with each passing minute, second and nanosecond, she was being shown another kind of agony that surpassed those given by Mr. Koromonise's horsewhip.

Getting pregnant barely eight months into her marriage wasn't her plan and she definitely didn't imagine herself in this battlefield of labour, at least not anytime soon. What fashion model allowed a baby to ruin her career, especially when she had just gotten to her peak? No one expected that from her. Not her, Nonye Pearl Kashimawo nee Emenike.

Even if heaven was raining babies, she wondered why it had to get to her too. She knew people who were desperate to have protruding bellies for nine months with the baggage that came with it. Her friend, Deziri, was one of such people and yet, the rain of babies hadn't gotten to her. Nonye was interested in more modelling and endorsement deals, not babies. She wondered why the contraceptive pills she took hadn't done its job. Why didn't I use the intrauterine system or a contraceptive ring instead? she thought regretfully.

Another contraction hit her and she grabbed Bams' cloth with both hands. She knew he hated having wrinkles on his cloth but she didn't care about that, she just wanted the baby out. Surely, her village people had met with her haters in the industry and conspired against her. The evil plan her enemy had fashioned against her was prospering. That was the only explanation for the hell she was going through. She obeyed the nurse's encouragement of push and did so with all her strength. When a newborn's wail filled the room, she let out a long breath of relief and settled her aching back on the bed.

"Baby, you did it. We did it! Our Champ is here," Bams gripped her left hand tightly.

"We? It's me. Just me. I was the one that did all the work!" was what Nonye wanted to say. However, relief overshadowed her anger and instead, she said, "Really?"

"Yes, Mrs. Kash, congratulations," the midwife answered with a smile, pronouncing her name as 'Cash' "Mr. Kash, if you don't mind, it's time for you to clamp the baby from its placenta."

A smile lit his face. "Of course. I've been waiting to do that for the past nine months." He marched victoriously to the nurse's side, collected the clamp scissors and carefully executed the deed he had been called to perform. As the wailing of the baby grew louder, tears slid out of Bams eyes. 

Nonye watched the emotions displayed on his face through lidded eyes and a small smile broke on her lips. She could see his lips forming the words 'I'm a father' over and over again.

"Mr, Kash, I will have to take the baby for tests."

"No qualms, but I'll like his mum to have a little peek of him first."

Nonye found herself nodding. Even though the child had caused her pain, she felt curiousity welling up in her to see his face.

"You mean you want the mother and child to have kangaroo care moment together?"

"Kangaroo what?" Bams asked, his confusion mirroring Nonye's.

The nurse smiled. "Don't worry, I'll demonstrate it instead." She carried the baby and gently placed it on Nonye's chest.

"Oh... Indeed, it's kangaroo care." Bams smiled sheepishly and moved closer to Nonye and the child. "See our Champ. He is here...our son is finally here."

"Yes," Nonye slurred. The world around her was spinning in circles and she wondered why. The little intruder was out so the nightmare was supposed to be over, instead, the world around her blurred. She heard voices around her as if it was coming from miles away for her, then, she blacked out.

~~~~~

Nonye tried to suppress her anxiety as she waited for her turn to walk on the runway of one of the biggest fashion shows in the country. Over the years, reporters, in the news, had described her walk as one of a kind with an aura that hypnotized people. It had been called 'Panther Walk', a walk exuding confidence and authority. The papers had even called her the 'African Karlie Kloss,' comparing her walk with that of the popular model. Nonye didn't mind all the terms used to describe her modelling skills as all were positive. The model with the Midas touch, her nickname, had earned her more popularity. Rumours of how the companies and brands she modelled for experienced massive increase in sales made her a sought after model and brand ambassador. 

Despite her anxiety, she knew today's walk won't be any different from the previous ones. She knew how to hide her nervousness under layers of confidence. Today, she was going to give her all to showcase the Deola Sagoe new line of collections. Her anxiety stemed from the information her manager has given her just moments ago. The representative from Versace's fashion line, an international brand, were around and scouting for models. Nonye was interested in more international deals and although there has been rumours that Versace had their eyes on her, she knew her performance today would seal the deal. She only wished her manager had informed her earlier. Still, the joy that one of her biggest dreams was coming to reality made her stand taller. She hummed the lyrics of Ayo, one of her favorite songs from Simi, as the costumiers and makeup artist made final touches to her dress and her face.

"Sweet Nonye, it's your turn now," Pedro, one of the coordinators of the show called out to her. He was a goliath-sized man with a feminine voice. "The world is waiting for you. Go, charm them with your alluring beauty." His words were followed by exaggerated hand gestures.

Nonye smiled at him. He always made her feel like a princess. "Thank you, Ped." She stood and four costumiers surrounded her, adjusting the flowing train behind the  regal blue gown she was wearing.

"You look like a part of the royal family. I'm pretty sure Queen Elizabeth will claim you as part of the family if she sees you."

Nonye laughed. "Ped, you and this your sweet mouth."

"I'm not joking. Didi, am I not right?" He turned to one of the costumiers.

"You are hundred percent right."

"Awwn..." She put a hand to her chest. "Thank you, guys. I wish I could give you all a big hug but I don't want to mess up all the work that has been done on me."

"Is Nonye set to go on stage?" The head coordinator asked as he barged into the dressing room.

"Yes, I'm ready."

As she catwalked out on stage, she swayed her hips and smiled as cameras from different angles flashed. She noticed her friends and her husband seated in the audience and her smile widened. As she sashayed to the edge of the stage, her gaze fell on a man and a woman standing at the edge of the ramp. Something in her gut told her they were the Versace representatives. The stage lightning hadn't allowed her notice them earlier but now she had, she wondered why they weren't seated with the audience. From the look on their faces, she could tell they were impressed. When they stretched out a pen and what looked like contract papers towards her, she knew they were beyond impressed. Signing a contract on the runway was unconventional but she didn't mind. This was Versace!

She reached out to grab it but something held her back. It was like her dress had gotten stuck on something. She groaned. "Not now." 

Not wanting to take her attention away from the representatives, she reached behind her to to pull the cloth but it wasn't moving. Frustrated, she glanced back and gasped in shock. To her uttermost dismay, there was a baby laying down on the dress train. The baby, barely a month old if she had to guess, was clutching unto her dress tightly. She tried to pull the dress out of its grip but it seemed impossible, its strength could be equated to that of two goliath-sized Pedro. It felt like a ton of bricks had been placed on the train of the dress, preventing her from moving.

"How is that possible?" She turned to call for help but everyone in the hall seemed frozen except the two Versace representatives whose wide smiles were turning into deep frowns. She panicked and rushed towards the train to get the baby off her but it wasn't moving. She tickled it, pinched it, cooed but nothing was working.

At wits end, she turned back to look at the representative and panicked. They were walking away.

"No, wait! I haven't signed the contract," she called out, rushing back to the edge of the stage but the baby gripped her hand, holding her back.

"We are sorry but our time here is up. It seems you have an entanglement that won't let us work together."

"No, I can fix this. Just give me a minute." She was intent on tearing the expensive dress if she had to, but now the child was gripping her hands in a vice like grip. She struggled to break free but all her efforts failed. Her lips pressed together in a grimace as the baby started giggling. It seemed the child was having fun frustrating her.

"Doesn't seem like your entanglement is ready to let you go," the man replied.

She turned to look at them and her eyes widened. They were almost out of her sight. Her efforts in breaking free intensified but soon, they were gone. The baby's giggles increased.

"No! Nooooo!" she screamed, furious hot tears sliding down her eyes

~~~~~

"Nooooooooooo."

Nonye jerked up, her hands moving to the back of her cloth. When her hands gripped nothing, she looked back. Nothing was holding unto her cloth, it was just a dream, but the tingles of pressure from the struggle to free herself still shot through her veins. Her eyes scanned the cubicle space she was in. It was a four cornered white plastered wall, not the huge fashion hall with blinding lights, and her royal blue gown had been replaced with a white polka dot dress. She rubbed her head to get rid of the throbbing headache but her hands froze when she caught sure of the little cot, beside her bed, that was housing a sleeping baby. The pounding in her head increased as she thought of her hellish journey in the labor room and the bizarre dream she had after. Was this what her life was going to become? Was the birth of this child going to steal her life and ruin her dreams? She tore her eyes away from the child and wrapped her arms around herself.

"You're awake." A nurse stood at the doorway, smiling at her.

She sat upright, taking in the rimmed glasses, pixel blond hairstyle and pink scrubs the older lady had on her.

"I would like to check your vitals." The nurse moved closer and removed the stethoscope hanging around her neck. When she was done, she smiled at Nonye. "Everything is good. With a few days of rest, the paleness on your face will be gone."

Nonye nodded, but remained silent, still feeling as if she was stuck in a nightmare. After a few seconds, she asked, "Where's Bams, my husband?"

"He should be around. You know you gave him quite a scare." The nurse walked to the baby's cot and gazed lovingly at him. "He looks so cute."

"Thank you," Nonye said, not sure of what other answer to give.

"You're welcome." She made her way to the door but stepped aside when Bams walked into the room. "Oh, here he is."

Bams was holding out his Mac tablet as if he was having a video call. "You were looking for me?"

The nurse gestured to the bed. "Your wife is awake."

His gaze fell on the bed and he dashed to her side when he saw her sitting up. "Mum, she is awake," he said into the tablet, holding it up so his mum could see Nonye.

Nonye tried to hide her annoyance. She had just woken up, he was just seeing her for the first time after those dreadful moments in the labor room and the first thing he was doing was making her talk to his mum. He couldn't even give her a hug, and couldn't he tell she was tired? She shifted the tab so the focus was on both of them and not just on her.

She suppressed a cringe as she looked at the face of her terrifying mother-in-law. Her tribal marks and horrible makeup—that Nonye silently compared to that of Mother Gagu in the TV series, Binta and friends—was the last thing she wanted to see today after all she had gone through. It was from her mother-in-law that she realized a person could be wealthy and still look dingy. No one would believe the woman shining her yellowish teeth was one of the most affluent cloth seller in Gbagi market in Ibadan, Nigeria. Her fabrics store was one of the largest in the market. She would have loved to used her modelling connections to transform her mother-in-law but the woman's cold attitude to her in the early years of her marriage with Bams made her wary. Her mother-in-law had only changed when she heard of the pregnancy. Her joy knew no bounds and she showered her with gifts. Five months into the pregnancy and Nonye already had different expensive native maternity clothes. Any other daughter in law would have been on cloud nine because of the pampering but Nonye had just wanted the nine months to be over.

"My daughter, you did well. You've made me proud by turning me info a grandmother. The latest granny in town. As at this moment, the whole Gbagi knows I am the latest grandmother in town and any other one after me is just following my lead."

Nonye trusted her mother-in-law to have announced to the whole Ibadan as soon as she got the news.

"I wish I was there with you but you know one can't sleep with two eyes closed." She put a hand over one of her eyes. "One will always have to leave one open sha. You know what I mean. I can't leave the whole store to these children. They will just bastardize my goods and steal all my money before I come back. Oju la la akan fi sori—the crab makes use of his eyes to protect his head."

"That would have been nice, but I quite understand your point ma." She feigned a smile, casting and binding every thought of her mother-in-law having to come to London to stay with her. She couldn't even stand talking to her on the phone, and whether she visited them, the stench of her agbo herb always gave her persistent headaches.

"Your husband told me about what happened after you delivered my grandson. Didn't you use the last agbo I gave you?" Madam Kash spoke sternly, her dictatorial voice taking over. 

Nonye hated being schooled but still, she put on a calm facade. 

"They were supposed to help prevent such things and—"

"I did, ma," she lied, interrupting the speech that was sure to come. 

Her mother-in-law's agbos were the most horrible things she had ever tasted, the stench alone was sure to eliminate anything from her body. But it had been ineffective on the one thing she didn't want, the baby. The only time she took it was when her mother-in-law visited and watched her take it and then, she usually spent several hours that day in the toilet. All the other ones that had been sent over from Nigeria to London had gone straight into the trash bin where Nonye thought it belonged. She made sure Bams never saw her because she didn't want him to throw a tantrum about her wasting his mother's efforts and money.

"Ki lo wa lo sele? What happened? That woman's herbs must be fake, that's it. And are you sure you went for the spiritual and miracle deliverance from ogbanje coven that I recommended to you? They might have been the ones who wanted to come and take you."

Nonye pressed her lips into a thin line to contain her fury at the last statement from the old woman. Am I a character straight out of Gracy Nma Osifo's book? she wondered, referring to Ogbanje, the main character in Nma Osifo's book titled Dizzy Angel. She frowned at the unbothered look on Bams face, he was acting like everything his mother was saying was normal. She tried to make eye contact with him to tell him she was angry with what his mother had said but he kept his attention on the tablet.

Chai! I trust my Nna Anyi...

Her father wouldn't have taken it kindly with anyone who tried it on his wife or any of his children. She recalled moments her father had stood up for her mother against his family. If only he was here... She scowled at Bams but he still seemed ignorant of her feelings.

"Anyways, thank God evil did not befall us." Her mother-in-law's words broke into her thoughts. "Have you informed your parents about the good news yet?"

"Not yet," Bams answered.

Nonye turned to him in shock. See this bia nwoke ina akpasi m'iwe. See this annoying man oh. He hasn't informed my parents yet the whole Ibadan had heard about my deliverance from the hell that child has put me through.

"I would do that after this call," Bams said, trying to redeem himself. "You know you were the first person I wanted to share this news with."

His mother beamed. "I understand, my son. It just shows that you are the true son of your mother."

"Indeed, he is," Nonye murmured bitterly.

"Pele, my son. Go and call your in-laws too. And least I forget, my daughter, I have sent my sales girl to get you some things that will help you regain all your lost strength and wash any yanmayanma from your body. It will also make you become agile and fertile again for your second baby."

Her eyes widened. "Second gini?" Madam Kashimawo and her son must see her as a sort of joke.